Learn Spanish Travel Spanish Blog

When we were in Buenos Aires last year, I made friends with a lovely (lovely in every sense of the word) young woman from England.   Often in a situation where you find you’re the odd man out for some reason (I was much older than anyone else in the immersion class), you can feel a little isolated.  Everyone was nice to me, friendly and so on, but it was only Clare who actually considered me to be a real person, worthy of more than just a perfunctory greeting.  She had come to BA alone and threw herself into Argentine life.  And then she decided to stay on and see more of South America.  I asked her if she would mind answering a few questions for the blog, and she consented in what I assume is her way – open, frank and direct.  I hope you enjoy her comments as much as we did.

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CLARE: **Before you read my answers to these questions, please bear in mind that this is just my personal experience which may differ hugely to other travellers´ and therefore all my “advice” is just my opinion, and not written as fact or some kind of lecture!! I travelled with a friend for most of the journey so please also bear this in mind for the questions regarding travelling alone.**

LSTS: Is this part of a Gap Year?

CLARE: Mine is the classic story of finishing study then launching into a job, before deciding that travel is the more appealing option. Luckily for me my contract finished so I was able to go travelling without actually having to quit work. I went to New Zealand and one corner of America first for three months to see what I made of travelling, before coming home and planning my trip to Buenos Aires.
LSTS: What made you pick South America?
CLARE: I went to see a Tango show in England and loved it so much I wanted to come to Argentina to learn the dance in its original country. Learning Spanish was a secondary aim really, born mainly out of English politeness as it seemed rude to stay in a country without making an effort to learn the language. It was also something of an experiment as I had failed Spanish miserably at school and wondered if I was capable of learning a language in a different setting.
LSTS: Did you have any Spanish education before heading out?
CLARE: Only at school, the lessons of which were half-hearted and with a teacher who had no time for the students who didn´t display any natural aptitude. As a result I remembered nothing from the study.
LSTS: How is your Spanish developing? What level would you say you are?
CLARE: The school in Buenos Aires was excellent, the teaching intense yet patient. I was surprised to find that I could understand quite quickly some of what was being said to me (probably largely to do with many Spanish words being similar to English), but the grammar and actual speaking is still fairly beyond me. Despite over 4 months in Spanish speaking countries, I would still say I am at a low level of Spanish, although far in advance of knowing absolutely nothing when I arrived in South America.
LSTS: We met in an immersion school in Buenos Aires. Did you stay in that school long? Have you attended any others?
CLARE: I was at the school for three months and it is the only one I have attended. Whilst I have nothing but praise for the actual school, the immersion program was hindered by the fact it was so international, hence the common language became English. We really should all have been speaking Spanish to each other, but when you have no Spanish vocabulary and a shaky understanding of the tenses, a meaningful conversation with a new friend in Spanish is just not possible.
LSTS: With your level of Spanish, are you able to get around okay?
CLARE: When I first came to South America I couldn´t even ask for a glass of water. I am now able to go into a restaurant and order food, haggle with taxi drivers, chat up bouncers to get into the VIP areas of clubs and understand the gist of the conversation with locals (though they are always very one-sided chats!). I still rely a lot on body language and have found that over the telephone I understand next to nothing, but there has certainly been a lot of improvement and I feel fairly confident in the day-to-day Spanish conversation. Obviously the language has differed from country to country as well and it takes a little time to get used to the new accents.
LSTS: You started alone, but are now travelling with someone, is that right?
CLARE: Yes, the original travel plan was just three months in Buenos Aires for the course then home. I made a very good friend at the language school however, and we have now been travelling around South America together for four months. After leaving Argentina, we spent two months in Brazil, 7 weeks in Colombia and we are now in Peru before returning to Buenos Aires to fly home. We also became a trio for five weeks in Brazil when a friend of ours (also from Spanish school) joined us.
LSTS: How has the relationship between you and your friend held up over such a long period of time together?
CLARE: Roeleke and I have been joined at the hip for nearly 8 months now, and for over four of those we have been together 24 hours a day. I never imagined a friendship (and such a new one at that) could hold up. We have become like sisters or an old married couple, we bicker continuously about ridiculous things like who gets the window seat, who´s turn it is to get up first in the morning, accusations of taking more than half of a shared meal etc. At the root of it all though is a loyalty and care for each other that always surpasses any silly arguments we have. We have both been ill at times, had PMT, been upset about something happening back at home etc etc and we have learnt when to be quiet and give each other space, and when to talk or push for a reaction. We have also of course had countless brilliant experiences together which have bonded us and give us plenty to be nostalgic about.
We had a discussion recently as we had a bad day when we had several minor arguments which left a nasty atmosphere. Roeleke told me that the thing that most annoys her about me is that when I´m angry with her I either don´t show it at all or brush it under the carpet without dealing with the problem. I do that because I don´t like confrontation and normally one or both of us is just overreacting over something trivial so I think it is not worth making a big deal out of. As time goes on we are learning to be more open with eachother without fear that it could cause some kind of massive venting of frustrations we didn´t know each other had, affecting the friendship more seriously.
Sometimes we will also misunderstand each other due to the difference in language as Roeleke is Dutch and though she speaks fluent English, sometimes the intonation can be wrong and I´ll take an innocent comment the wrong way. This is something I have to bear in mind and not overreact to.
We have found that the main problem can be that when you are in such close proximity all the time, you tend to vent any frustrations or anger on eachother as there is no one else. This can also be construed in the wrong way and we have learnt to be sensitive to the situation and not take everything as a personal affront.
We were also very fortunate that our experience of being a trio was a positive one when we rejoined our friend Julia. The friendships were balanced which was an important factor and fortunately we all wanted the same things out of Brazil so there was no compromising in terms of choosing places to stay and what to do. We missed Julia when we had to leave her in Brazil, but Ro and I slipped back into our normal “marriage”.
LSTS: Have you had any close calls, narrow escapes or misadventures you can relate?
CLARE: My friend and I are quite safety conscious but we did get caught out in Cartagena, Colombia. It was daylight by the time we were coming home from a night out so we decided to walk the 5 minutes to our hotel. We got to the corner of our street (literally 10 meters from our hotel) when a guy came in front of us, broke a bottle on the path and threatened us. It´s surprising how calm you can feel when a guy is shoving glass at you and ransacking your pockets. I told him to take what he wanted from us and we just stood still and quiet – he checked my friend´s pocket and smugly sauntered off with my mobile (an antique with a useless Colombian sim card in it) and some tampons! We saw it as a sign not to get complacent when you become familiar with the area you are staying in.
I also had a very nasty experience in Brazil. We were staying in Morro do Sao Paulo which is a beautiful island near Salvador. It is quite touristy and feels very safe although we heard a few stories. I met a Brazilian guy on the beach who seemed okay – we chatted for a couple of hours and I danced with him for a while that night at the beach party. As with everyone I meet I did not tell him where I was staying but he must have followed me to the pousada we were staying in at some point. I was ill the next day and so went to bed while my friends went out to a club a fair distance from the pousada. Being ill and tired I left the door to the room unlocked so my friends could come in in the the early hours. At about 3am I was woken by the light being switched on. I assumed it was the girls until I felt a large man´s hand on my shoulder. He was a big bloke and he was looming above me with an odd look on his face. I decided screaming would be a dangerous thing to do as he might panic and do something to shut me up, so I tried to stay calm and talked to him in my very broken Spanish. He said he had come to the room as he couldn´t find me at the club and my friends had told him I was ill in bed. Quite how that nutter thought it was acceptable to come into my room I can´t imagine. I told him repeatedly to leave but he stayed for about 45 minutes, occasionally stroking my hair and telling me he didn´t want me to leave the island. I was dressed in just a nighty with a sheet pulled over me, and was trapped between the wall and him on the bed. Eventually he seemed to give up and left and I locked the door and paced around the bathroom shaking till my friends returned about an hour later. I felt so angry with myself for not locking the door and I had a very lucky escape. I am not sure what the guy´s intentions were, something about his manner made me think he was just too much of a coward to actually rape me. It was a lesson learnt and I am now fastidious to the point of paranoia about locking doors.

LSTS: When we saw you in Buenos Aires, you were in love with the Tango. How did that go?

CLARE: Dancing Tango was as much of a challenge as learning Spanish – an incredibly difficult yet sensual and beautiful dance. My teachers were fantastic and I loved the experience. I went to many milongas, danced with many Argentine men, and even got to go to some more intimate venues where I felt privileged to be. After three months I would certainly not class myself as a dancer, I have a lot to learn and I hope to continue with Tango when I return to England.
LSTS: You must be pretty good at organising your finances by now?
CLARE: I saved for several years before finally going travelling so I had quite a large budget for the trip. I have found it to be a balance between being thrifty but at the same time not missing out on things because of wanting to save money. I think one of the most important things when travelling is to remain healthy so I have made sure I have eaten well. My friend and I stick to the cheaper restaurants, although they are of course nowhere near as cheap as cooking for ourselves. This has not really been an option for us in Colombia and Peru as we have been staying in hotels as they can be cheaper than hostels, so we have not had kitchen facilities. We have also saved money by finding our own way around and not paying for expensive tours or tourist transport. It is much more fun and you learn far much more by travelling with the locals and finding out the best places to go from them.
LSTS: In what sort of places do you stay? Have you ever seen or used websites like “Couch Surfer” etc?
CLARE: In Buenos Aires I was staying in a home-stay with a crazy Argentine lady and some other students. Depending on which country, since leaving Argentina we have been staying in hostels or hotels. In Brazil it was cheaper to stay in hostel dorms, although we rented an apartment with some girls we met over Carnival. In Colombia and Peru we discovered it was actually cheaper to share the cost of a double hotel room than to pay for hostels. We joined the couch surfer website just before Carnival when we were getting rather desperate for a place to stay as our budget was so low. The website was excellent and seemed to have good safety measures, although we never personally used it in the end.

LSTS: Is it harder for women travellers travelling alone than it would be for men? (In some ways it could be better, because people would be more open with women I think. What do you think?)
CLARE: It is difficult for me to answer this one because although initially I was travelling alone in Buenos Aires, I was rarely in reality on my own. I have also never travelled as a male so it is impossible for me to compare the two! I think travelling alone is a difficult situation regardless of gender. I should think it has certainly been easier for my female friend and I to meet the locals, though usually always men of course. It is very easy for the women to make new “friends” though we always have to be so suspicious and careful it sometimes takes some of the pleasure out of the conversations.
As a woman you have to put up with the incessant cat calling, and to be honest at times I have got frustrated and repulsed by the dog-like attitude some men have here. It would be nice to be a man sometimes and not have to put up with being measured by so many eyes as you walk down the street.
At night time South America (and everywhere) can be dangerous for both men and women and neither gender should really venture out alone in the dodgier areas. It is important not to be paranoid as this can spoil your enjoyment, but at the same time you must be aware. Things can always happen no matter how careful you are.
When it comes to going out it must be harder for the men that like to dance as they have to ask the Latin women who seem to move like professionals in general.
LSTS: What advice would you give to young women (or anyone, for that matter) who are thinking about doing what you’re doing?
CLARE: Listen to your instinct is number one I think. You can read all the guidebooks, listen to the government advice, look at all the websites and come to the conclusion that it´s simply too dangerous. This was the conclusion I came to about Colombia and I will always be thankful to my friend that she talked me into going as it turned out to be the highlight so far of our journey. You must be aware of the potential dangers and take heed of the advice of other people, but I have also learnt that you are responsible for your own safety and in that respect you can afford to take calculated risks. You take a risk from the beginning leaving your hometown and launching yourself into a different country with all the nuances in cultural and social norms. It took me some time to learn to relax as I had to find the right balance between being paranoid or complacent – it seems to be about balance and each decision you make has to be thought through. Every person you meet is an individual, you have no idea what they are capable of or what their true intentions are and you are unlikely to ever have enough time with them to find out. Some of it is luck I think, and the rest is just common sense. I choose to never get drunk, never take drugs… basically never not be in control of my own faculties or mind. That way my natural instinct can guide me in each situation as nothing else really can.

LSTS: Any general travel tips? Any that are country specific?
CLARE: South America is great for haggling – there are always big mark ups at the markets and walking away normally makes the stall holder cut a better deal. When haggling with taxis always agree a price before you get in the car. Not only do you normally get a good deal, you also have an important minute or so to get a first impression of the driver and also have a look at the state of the car (barely roadworthy normally in Peru!). Many times we´ve decided against getting in a taxi because we´ve had a funny feeling about the driver or thought the car wouldn´t survive the journey – we´ll never know if those suspicions were founded but we´ve never had any problems.
Another thing that my friend and I have found useful is to have a meaningless code word if you are feeling uncomfortable in a situation. Particularly in Argentina, Brazil and Peru, many people speak some level of English and we found it could be difficult sometimes to tell each other that we wanted to escape from someone without causing offence. So we have been using the word “nutella” a lot over the past few months and it is surprisingly effective.
Arranging a back-up bank account before you travel is also a good idea just in case your card gets stolen. I haven´t needed to use it thankfully, and it´s also nice to know you have a small sum of money as a backup in case you get into difficulties.
LSTS: Given the chance, what would you do differently?
CLARE: I don´t feel that I missed out on anything and have no real regrets about decisions I made. The only thing I would like to change if history repeated itself is to be less frustrated and to take the Spanish and Tango classes less seriously. I am the type of person that likes to get things right and I found the first couple of of weeks incredibly frustrating as I put too much pressure on myself.
LSTS: When do you go home? How long will your trip have been when you get home?
CLARE: I am due to fly home on 12th June and I will have been away for just over 7 months by that point.
LSTS: Has it changed your life in any way?
CLARE: I don´t know about changed my life, but this trip has certainly given me a better understanding of what I want out of life. There is sometimes a sense of purposelessness to this kind of travelling for me as I feel that I am of no use to my friends and family at home, just a source of concern for them. This experience has actually showed me that this level of freedom is something I only want for a period of time. I am now ready to go home and settle down, use my degree, hopefully find genuine love, have some fun, have children etc etc. I used to think I didn´t want children and just wanted to enjoy myself and not get tied down. But it turns out I am far more traditional than I thought and have realised how important it is for me to have family, commitments and responsibilities. I have met many people who are not looking forward to going home and getting back into the routine of their lives, but I have felt somehow incomplete whilst I have been away from home, and if I really think about it (as I am now) I am so relieved that I feel that way. I could never make months of travel my long-term lifestyle – for me it is a break from the norm to make you realise how much you value the things you end up pining for.
LSTS: What next?
CLARE: When I get home I shall visit family and friends then launch myself into finding work in the corporate events industry – hopefully a job that involves travel. There are a few hobby things that I would like to do – continuing with Tango and other South American dances, learning to play the saxophone, getting a motorbike licence etc. I am actually quite embarrassed that I have not seen more of the UK and France as they are so close, so I shall do a bit of short travelling around Scotland, Ireland etc, and go on the Eurostar to Paris.

 

Tags:   Argentina · Columbia · Interview · Peru · South AmericaNo Comments